Music was my first love: EnglishVersion
by Majin Micha
Summary: She loved him. Damn, she knew that he knew it. But she needed to be free. / Sherlolly - Chapter 2 online
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone.**

**This is my first fanfic in english so please consider this at the beginning that I will try my very best.**

**As I am not a native speaker it is very difficult for me to write everything the way down as it comes in my head. So I hope you can forgive me for every mistake that I make in this story.**

**It would be great if you could help and give me some advice.**

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**The characters in this Story belong to the BBC and the great Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss.**

**I do not own anything but my bad english.**

**Hope you enjoy !**

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Molly Hooper loved the music.

It was her only possibility to give her voice strength and power.

Yes, she was the mousy, shy, weak and stammering pathologist who had fallen for Sherlock Holmes.

She was nice, always saying yes to everyone and everything. Her colleagues and friends knew all of that. But everything changed when she started to sing.

It was like there was another Molly Hooper, deep inside her. Confident, extravert, sexy.

Of course she was not a professional singer and she was also sure to never receive a prize for her music. But something in her voice was making the people listen and think.

Molly had no intention to do it to people. Everything turned when she began to sing and Molly forgot the whole world, her insecurity, problems, fear, unfulfilled dreams and wishes.

Only for some minute she was lost in her thoughts and after that the world seemed somehow changed.

Though it weren't her songs she sang, Molly every time choose the right songs to the right time for her own feelings.

And every time during singing a little part inside her was dying.

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Another Thursday in the week and hopefully Party-Time at the „Karaoke-Contest" – with live music.

The winner takes it all: good old whiskey, the desired approval and of course a small classified ad somewhere in the London Times.

Molly felt sick.

She was nervous, soaked in sweat and as pale as death like a vampire in a bad Hollywood movie.

She shot an evil glare to her best friend Mary Watson in the audience. Oh, how much she hated this woman at the very moment.

Dragged to this club – formally called it a "girls-night" – with the intention to drink and sing till the early morning, forget about men.

Forget about one man – Mr Sherlock fucking bloody Holmes.

Never Molly had thought that this was just a trick from Mary to give her the chance to sing in front of a big audience. In front of a jury. With scores. With radio and newspaper. Official.

_Oh God, I'm going to faint !_

Molly tried to kept breathing.

How much she wished for something to drink. A strong shot to forget about the bad excitement she was feeling.

But it was too late now.

The host was welcoming Molly to the stage and the people clapped gentle.

She took some groggy steps to the wooden stage and laughed nervously as the host gave her his hand to ask her about her name and work.

Molly answered his questions silent and slow, too nervous to take a look in the audience.

She knew that Mary and John were sitting in the front row, looking at her confident and proud.

_Oh, fuck them all…!_

She hated them, all of them.

She knew that Mary knew that she was only singing at home, sometimes in her laboratory or at the morgue. Barely in bars and only if others would join her.

But never complete alone in front of people. Actually in front of many people.

And here she stood – ready to make a laughingstock of herself because of the song she had chosen.

And only one person to blame: Sherlock Holmes.

As the host was asking about this special song Molly felt the warmness in her cheeks.

"It is for someone special." was her only comment on this matter and the host smiled gently at her.

Then he left the stage and the band began to play.

_I need your love, I need your time_

_When everything's wrong, You make it right_

_I feel so high, I come alive_

_I need to be free with you tonight_

_I need your love_

Molly closed her eyes, shutting the world completely out.

She didn't want to see the laughter on their faces or their pity in their eyes.

Molly wanted to feel the music, to breath it in, become one with it.

Still her heart was beating fast and hard, still her hands were shaking visibly for the others to see. Her voice was strong and soft.

And full of sadness.

_I take a deep breath every time I pass your door_

_I know you're there but I can't see you anymore._

_ And that's the reason you're in the dark_

_ I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart_

_ And I feel so helpless here, _

_Watch, my eyes are filled with fear. _

_Tell me, do you feel the same? _

_Hold me in your arms again !_

Of course she thought about Sherlock the time she had chosen that song for the contest.

She always saw his face when she sang.

Her love for this man was too deep.

Everyone knew that she loved him. Damn, he himself knew she loved him, he was not blind.

She knew also, that Sherlock only played with her feelings to get better access to the lab to do his strange experiments.

But he never give her hope at all. That was the worst thing which hurted the most.

Sometimes Molly just wished he would tell her straight into the face that he could never love her. But he didn't, never will.

And so she was still hoping, and wishing, and thinking and praying.

_All the years, All the times, You have never been to blame._

_ And now my eyes are open, And now my heart is closing. _

_And all the tears, All the lies, All the waste I've been trying to make it change. _

_And now my eyes are open_

_I need your love, I need your time _

_When everything's wrong, You make it right _

_I feel so high, I come alive _

_I need to be free…_

Her voice was breaking by the end and Molly's heartbeat grew faster. She knew it was a bad idea to sing. Every time she would be sentimental.

Hell, even the tears were coming now behind her closed eyes and she took a deep bow to hide them.

The applause she received after the band was finished with the melody was deafening and Molly beamed happily.

John and Mary gave her standing ovations and were also screaming loud her name.

She smiled and nodded in the audience.

And stood suddenly very, very still.

Molly felt numb as she met the eyes with the famous consulting detective.

He was hiding beneath a column near the front door and she was sure that neither John nor Mary knew that he would be there to listen to her.

Her face was getting pale and she felt suddenly very cold.

Molly's complete behavior didn't get missed by Mary and she turned around, looking in the same direction as her friend.

Her eyes grew wide in surprise and she shouted John's name, who also turned around.

But the only Thing he saw was the top of a dark coat, as the man left the location head over heels.

Molly left the stage also very fast, couldn't quite believe it.

Wasn't it enough that this man was following her not only in her dreams?

This beautiful creature with the high cheekbones, the wonderful curly head and the mesmerized eyes.

She grabbed her bag with the keys and went to the back door.

For a moment she hesitated and thought about to turn around for John and Mary.

But Molly shook her head and went outside.

For today she had definitely enough.

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**Please leave a Review for this author.**

**Hope to read from you soon.**

**Best wishes,**

**Your Majin Micha**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you very much for your Reviews.**

**Here is Chapter 2 - I hope you are also looking forward to it as I do !**

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The fresh air hit her like a sledgehammer and Molly lurches a few steps forward.

She straightened herself and took a deep breath before she made her way home.

Fortunately her flat was only some minutes away from the bar and Molly was relieved when she finally stood in front of the building.

Her legs ached and she couldn't wait to finally step out of her towering heels which Mary insisted she should buy.

Again another terrible mistake.

But Molly had neither the nerve nor the time to think about that now.

She was tired and embarrassed and had only one wish: a quick hot shower, a bottle of sweet red wine and get drunk.

That sounded really, really good.

After she had successfully opened the door to her building she stepped into the cold staircase and hesitated.

She felt watched and turned around in the assumption that someone was standing directly behind her.

But she was alone in the cold, dark streets of London.

She let out a nervous giggle and closed the door quickly behind her.

Inside the dark staircase she felt herself a little bit safer than outside.

She knew it was after midnight and only God knew what kind of strange people were still wandering around.

Molly reached for the light switch.

It clicked once and the lights went on for a few seconds.

Than it clicked again and the lights went off.

She cursed and pushed the button one more time, but she was left in complete darkness.

"Fantastic…" She murmured sarcastically and stepped forward, reaching for the railing.

The walk to her flat took twice as long as usual and as Molly was standing finally at her apartment door, she couldn't feel her feet anymore.

She took her keys and met the keyhole at first attempt.

"At least one still works…"

She went inside her flat and was again greeted with darkness which was odd.

Normally Molly left the small bedside lamp in her room on so that Toby, her cat, didn't feel alone when she was gone.

Now the lamp was off.

But perhaps she had just forgotten to put it on?

She was so under pressure when Mary had called…

Moll shook herself and also the thoughts off her.

She closed the door and got out of her shoes, exhaled relaxed as she felt the blood running through her footpads and toes.

She swore to herself never to wear such kind of shoes again, that was pure torture.

In the darkness she searched for the light switch and smiled when the lights finally went on.

And then she froze when her view got caught in the mirror next to her.

Molly stepped slowly forward, hesitated only for a few seconds.

Then she reached for the paper which was stuck to the cold glass.

She tore it at her and flipped it open, noted at the same time how strong her hands were shaking.

Molly's heart and mind were racing as she read the few words over and over again.

She crumpled the paper in her hand and went straight to her living room, found the bottle of Scotch easily and poured herself something in a glass.

She lifted it and drank it within seconds.

"Holy shit!"

Molly coughed a few strong times and made a disgust face.

The scotch was terrible and she didn't feel any better.

But alcohol never did, she knew this normally.

Molly sighed and fell back onto her couch.

She starred for several minutes up to the ceiling and thought hard.

It made no sense…or did it?

Was it a coincidence that he would be there this evening and listen to her?

Or did John or Mary told him?

But no, they seemed surprised as much as she herself was.

And what was this now?

Why did he left her this fucking message?

She knew it was him.

She would have recognized his handwriting everywhere.

Molly looked down and opened her left hand where the small paper ball still laid.

She didn't move her hand nor did she open the paper again.

The words were already in her head as was the instrumental sounds who belonged to this song.

Without any though she opened her mouth and began to sing.

**You make yourself a prisoner of me.**

**You blind yourself, so you don't have to see.**

**You turn your life, to a power above.**

**You make yourself a Hostage of Love!**

She stopped and struggled shivering for some air.

She felt the hot tears down her cheeks and buried her head in her arms, her body shaking.

She hated it.

She hated herself for this love confession.

Because that was it – nothing more and nothing less.

Molly raised her hand and threw Sherlock's message somewhere into the hallway.

Now she had the final answer to her questions.

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**Hope to hear from you soon.**

**Don't Forget to leave a Review.**

**SYS**

**Your's Majin Micha**


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